You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
