i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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