The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
