Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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