so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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