i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
