The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
