im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
