Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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