She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
