Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
