If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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