I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
