I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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