And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
