At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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