I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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