Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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