Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
