Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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