Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
