My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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