my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
