i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
