this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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