I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
should my penis look like a turkey
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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