so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
