If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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