I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you win again, gameday.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
