Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
