Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
