you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
