my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
