They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
