woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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