I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i dont even know how to be here
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
