i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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