i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
