She is in my trunk
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
