Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
