Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
