Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
