just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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