you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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