Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There r osticjed everywhere
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
