Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
