i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
