You're so nebulous sometimes
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
