Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
