I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
