I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
