On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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